ONLY IN N'AWLINS!

* THE FOUR SEASONS OF YOUR YEAR ARE: CRAWFISH, CRAB, SHRIMP AND KING CAKE

* WHEN SOMEONE ASKS DIRECTIONS, YOU USE UPTOWN, DOWNTOWN, WESTBANK & LAKESIDE

* YOU PROUDLY CLAIM THAT MONKEY HILL IS THE HIGHEST POINT IN THE CITY

*YOU CALL IT A NEUTRAL GROUND INSTEAD OF A MEDIAN

* YOUR BURIAL PLOT IS 6 FEET OVER, RATHER THAN 6 FEET UNDER

* YOU CAN PRONOUNCE 'TCHOUPITOULAS'

* WHEN SOMEONE SAYS 'MAGAZINE', YOU THINK STREET NOT PERIODICAL

* YOU HAVE NO IDEA WHAT A TURN SIGNAL IS OR HOW TO PROPERLY USE IT

* YOU TAKE A 'RIGHT HAND TURN' INSTEAD OF A RIGHT TURN

* YOU CALL ALL INTERSECTIONS 'RED LIGHTS'

* YOU KNOW TO WAIT A MINUTE BEFORE GOING WHEN THE LIGHT TURNS GREEN

* YOU CAN CROSS 2 LANES OF HEAVY TRAFFIC AND U-TURN THROUGH A NEUTRAL GROUND,
WHILE AVOIDING 2 JOGGERS AND A STREETCAR, THEN FIT INTO ONCOMING TRAFFIC WITHOUT
EVEN TOUCHING THE BRAKE

* YOU KNOW THE DEFINITION OF 'DRESSED'

* YOU KNOW A PO-BOY IS NOT A GUY WITH NO MONEY

* YOU JUDGE A PO-BOY BY THE NUMBER OF NAPKINS USED

* YOU REFER TO ANY STRAWBERRY SODA AS 'RED DRINK'

* YOU 'MAKE' GROCERIES

* YOU KNOW THAT A GROCERY CART IS ACTUALLY CALLED A BUGGY

* YOU KNOW WHAT K&B, SCHWEGMANN'S, TASTEE DONUTS AND MCKENZIE'S IS

* YOU LIKE YOUR RICE AND POLITICS 'DIRTY'

* YOU KNOW THAT THOSE BIG ROACHES CAN FLY, AND YOU'RE ACTUALLY ABLE TO SLEEP AT NIGHT

* YOU CONSIDER A BLOODY MARY A LIGHT BREAKFAST

* NO MATTER WHERE ELSE YOU GO IN THE WORLD, YOU ARE ALWAYS DISAPPOINTED IN THE FOOD

* YOU CALL TOMATO SAUCE 'RED GRAVY'

* YOU CALL YOUR GRANDPARENTS (AND EVERYONE ELSE'S GRANDPARENTS) 'MAW-MAW & PAW-PAW'

* YOUR HOUSE PAYMENT IS LESS THAN YOUR AIR CONDITIONING BILL IS

* WIN OR LOSE.... YOU HAVE AND WILL ALWAYS BE A SAINTS FAN

* YOU DON'T LEARN UNTIL HIGH SCHOOL (or until you move out of town!) THAT MARDI GRAS IS NOT
A NATIONAL HOLIDAY

* YOU HAVE A PARADE LADDER IN YOUR SHED

* YOU BRING EMPTY GROCERY BAGS TO PARADES

* YOUR FIRST SENTENCE WAS 'THROW ME SUMTHIN MISTA'

* YOU REFER TO DIFFERENT HIGH SCHOOLS AS 'CATHOLIC' OR 'PUBLIC'

* YOU CAN REMOVE THE CAP TO A TABASCO BOTTLE WITH ONE HAND

* YOU PUT TONY'S ON EVERYTHING

* YOU HAVE SEEN MEN IN TUXEDOS BOILING CRAWFISH

* YOU CALL A CONVENIENCE STORE 'TIME SAVER'

* RAIN, SLEET OR HAIL WILL NEVER KEEP YOU FROM JAZZ FEST

*YOU GO TO SLEEP FRIDAY EVENING BEFORE GOING OUT FRIDAY NIGHT

* YOU HAVE SPENT MANY-A-SUNDAY'S AT THE LAKEFRONT

* WHEN YOU MOVED OR WENT OUT OF TOWN, YOU ARE INCREDIBLY RELIEVED TO MEET SOMEONE FROM
N'AWLINS AND YOU KISS THEM LIKE YOU'RE FAMILY

* YOU HAVE A MONOGRAMMED GO-CUP

* YOUR ATTIC OR GARAGE IS FILLED WITH MARDI GRAS BEADS

* YOU BELIEVE THAT PURPLE, GREEN AND GOLD ACTUALLY LOOK GOOD TOGETHER

* YOU HAVE TO RESET YOUR CLOCKS AFTER EVERY THUNDERSTORM

* YOU CRINGE EVERY TIME YOU HEAR AN ACTOR WITH A SOUTHERN OR CAJUN ACCENT IN ANY
NEW ORLEANS-BASED MOVIE OR TV SHOW

* YOU WASTE MORE TIME NAVIGATING BACKSTREETS THAN SITTING IN TRAFFIC

* YOU'RE WALKING IN THE QUARTER WITH A PLASTIC CUP OF BEER. IT STARTS TO RAIN AND
YOU COVER YOUR BEER INSTEAD OF YOUR HEAD

* YOU SAVE NEWSPAPER. NOT TO RECYCLE BUT FOR A TABLECLOTH AT YOUR NEXT CRAWFISH BOIL

* SOMEONE STOPS AND ASKS YOU FOR DIRECTIONS AND YOU STOP AND HELP THEM WITH A SMILE

* YOU KNOW WHERE YOU GOT YOUR SHOES

* YOU CONSIDER GARBAGE CANS A LEGAL STEP TO PROTECTING YOUR PARKING SPOT ON A PUBLIC STREET

* YOU GO OUT TO DINNER AND SPEND THE ENTIRE MEAL TALKING ABOUT THE OTHER GOOD PLACES YOU HAVE EATEN

* YOU EXHIBIT YOUR 'DOUBLOON REFLEX' BY STOMPING RUNAWAY COINS WITH YOUR FOOT

* YOU'RE LEFT BEHIND AT AN OUT-OF-TOWN BAR BECAUSE YOU'RE SEARCHING FOR A GO-CUP

* YOUR FIRST QUESTION IN ANY TELEPHONE CALL IS 'WHERE Y'AT?'

* YOU REPLY TO ANYTHING AND EVERYTHING ABOUT LIFE HERE AS, 'ONLY IN N'AWLINS'

* YOU KNOW NO ONE ACTUALLY SAYS 'N'AWLINS'

* YOU'RE NOT SCARED IF SOMEONE 'AX YOU SOMETHING'

* YOU'VE GREETED SOMEONE WITH 'HOW'S YOUR MOM AN 'EM?
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PASS THIS ON TO ALL YOUR FRIENDS AND MAKE THEM SMILE....
ONLY THE PEOPLE FROM NEW ORLEANS WILL UNDERSTAND AND SMILE
WE WILL ALWAYS LOVE THIS CITY....NO PLACE IN THE WORLD LIKE IT